Funny one-liners
*Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
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*If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.
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*A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.
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*Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
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* To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
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* Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says “If an emergency, notify:” I put “DOCTOR”. What’s my mother going to do?
www.onelinerz.net
"Always be a first-rate version of yourself,
instead of a second-rate version of somebody else."
~ Judy Garland(1922-1969)
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